Monday, February 11, 2019

Self-Approval is necessary

This is a real challenge for the "Type-A" people among us.  As I understand it (I think Lazaris said this) Type-A behaviour results from experiencing conditional love as a child.  As a child, we're totally dependent upon our parents for survival ... so the easiest way for parents to control the terrible two's etc. is to withdraw love ... often through a glance.  Unfortunately, the long term implication is the feeling that we are unworthy or never good enough ... so life becomes an unending treadmill with little to celebrate!

There is also a negative-ego game which tells us to lower our expectations because we're unworthy of "big" success and the "fall" won't be as hard when we fail to achieve our dreams.

Both of these conditions need to be released for a true sense of well being:

“A feeling of self-approval is absolutely necessary for any true sense of well-being; it is not virtuous in any way to put yourself down, or to punish yourself, because you do not feel you have lived up to your best behaviour at any given time.”
(The Way Toward Health,Session February 6, 1984)

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