January 5, 1984
People who have epilepsy are also afraid of
their own energy.
They do not trust it, nor do they trust the
spontaneous portions of the self. They
are afraid that left alone their energy might strike out against others, and so
they short-circuit its use, having attacks that momentarily render themselves
helpless.
People with so-called secondary
personalities also fear their own energy.
They divide it up so that it seems to belong to different personalities,
and is therefore effectively divided. In
basic terms, true amnesia does not exist in such cases, though it appears
to. The people involved are quite aware
of their activities at all times, but they behave in a fashion that is not
continual – that is, the main personality does not seem to behave in a
continual manner, but is broken up, or again, seemingly divided. This psychological ploy neatly prevents the
so-called main personality from using all of its energy at any one time.
The individuals concerned pretend to
themselves that they have no memory of the other personalities’ existences or
activities. These personalities,
however, store up their energy so that one personality often exhibits
explosive behavior, or makes certain decisions that seem to go against
the wishes of the main entity. In this
way, different kinds of behavior may be exhibited, and while it would seem that
many decisions are made by one portion of the self, without another portion of
the self knowing anything about it, such usually is not the case. In fact, the main personality is able to express
many different kinds of probable action, but the entire personality is prevented
from acting with its full energy or power. Instead the energy is diverted into other channels.
All portions of the self are indeed conscious,
and they are also basically conscious of each other, though for working purposes
they may seem to be separate or isolated.
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