Session 680

Unknown Reality, Session 680

When I speak of probable selves, of course I am not speaking of some symbolic portion of the personality structure or using the idea of probabilities as an analogy.

Consciousness is composed of energy, with everything that implies.  The psyche, then, can be thought of as a conglomeration of highly charged “particles” of energy, following rules and properties, many simply unknown to you.  On other levels, laws of dynamics apply to the energy sources of the self.  Think of a given “self” as a nucleus of an energy gestalt of consciousness.  That nucleus, according to its intensity, will attract to it certain masses of the entire energy patterns available to a given identity.

In those terms the identity at birth is composed of a variety of such “selves”, with their nuclei, and from that bank the physical personality has full freedom to draw.  Ruburt’s mystical nature was such a strong portion of the entire identity that in his present reality, and in the probable reality chosen – as mentioned when I discussed this picture (of Jane) – the mystic impulses and expressions were given play.  Intersections with probable realities occur when one psychic grouping intensifies to a certain point, so that fulfillment as a self results.

Within the entire identity there may be, for example, several incipient selves, around whose nuclei the physical personality can form.  In many instances one main personality is formed, and the incipient selves are drawn into it so that their abilities and interests become subsidiary, or remain largely latent.  They are trace selves.

On many occasions, however, such latent selves will be as highly energized as the “main” personality.  Since physically a certain personality structure must be maintained, traces are made.  Therefore, when such situations arise, one or two of the other energized selves will literally spring apart from the timespace structures that you know.

From your viewpoint these offshoots of energy become unreal.  They exist as surely as you do, however.  In terms of energy, this multiplication of selves is a natural principle.  (To Rob:) Your “sportsman self” was never endowed with the same kind of force as that of your artistic or writing self.  It became subsidiary, yet present to be drawn upon, taking joy through your motion and adding its vitality to your “main” personality.

Had it been given extra force through your environment, circumstances, or your own intent, then either your artistic self would have become subservient or complementary; or, if the energy selves were of nearly equal intensity, then one of them would have become an offshoot, propelled by its own need for fulfillment into a probable reality.

Your parents literally did not share the same reality at all.  This is not as unusual as you may think.  They met and related in a place between each of their realities.  It was not that they disagreed with each other’s interpretation of events.  The events were different.

In terms of energy, intent is stabilizing.  There is a centre to the self, again, that acts as a nucleus.  The nucleus may change, but it will always be the center from which physical existence will radiate.  Physically, intent or purpose forms that center, regardless of its reality in terms of energy.

In your family life in this reality, your parents acted opaquely to each other.  There were strong energy shifts, so that the personalities did not meet directly.  Some of this is difficult to explain.  In a way, they were unfocused, yet each with strong abilities, but dispersed.  There was a reason for this.

They contained within themselves intense and yet blurred talents that were used as energy sources by the children.  They came together precisely to give birth to the family, and for no other main reason as far as their joint reality was concerned.  They seeded a generation, then.

Your mother loved physical reality and took the greatest pleasure in its most minute aspects, for all of her complaints.  Your father loved it but never trusted it.  Each of your parents had their strongest reality, this time, and in your terms, in a probable system of reality – and here (in this reality) they were offshoots.  To them this system always seemed strange.

In another system of reality your father was – in fact, still is – a well-known inventor, who never married but used his mechanically creative abilities to the fullest while avoiding emotional commitment.  He met Stella (my mother).  They were going to be married – and in terms of years, the same years are involved, historically.  At one time, then, in your father’s past as you think of it, having met Stella, he did not marry her after all.  His love was for machinery, the speed of motorcycles, mixing creativity with metal.  At that point of intersection, equal desires and intents within him became like twin nuclei.  Whole regroupings of energy occurred, psychological and psychic implosions, so that two equally valid personalities were aware in a world in which only one could live at a time.

By far, the creative, mechanically inventive personality began to outstrip the other.  The father that you knew was the probable self, therefore.  That probable self, however, dealt with emotional realities that the other avoided, and this was indeed his sole intent.

This does not mean that such a personality is limited, basically, or that he does not collect about him new interests and challenges, for he is himself mobile.  He even has many of the characteristics of the other self, though these of course are latent.  But through having children your father brought about the birth of emotional existence, full bodied and alive, in sons.

This was a great fulfillment on his part, for the inventor did not trust himself to feel much emotion, much less give birth to emotional beings.  In that other probability in which your parents originally met, your mother married a doctor, became a nurse, and helped her husband in his practice.  She became an independent woman, and – again in your historical context – when it took some doing for a woman to distinguish herself.

She had one son, then a hysterectomy, on purpose.  She schooled herself rigorously, moved in social circles, hid the unschooled, naïve aspects of herself.  In that life, for example, she would certainly not wear red bows in her hair.  All of the controlled energy made her somewhat bitter, though she was successful.  She died in her 50’s.

Her energy was such that it spilled over into this system with your father, however.  Someday I will try to explain this more clearly, in terms of energy patterns.  Historically, however, many probabilities exist at once.  When your mother died in her 50’s in one probable system, your mother in this system was the recipient of energy that then returned.

Your father’s greatest vitality was in the inventor’s reality, and so in your terms this one suffered.  This does not mean that each personality, regardless of probabilities, is not endowed with free will, and so forth.  Each is born, in whatever system, from a source gestalt of energy, and develops.

When your picture was taken, therefore, your parents were already living in a probable reality, but you and [your brother] Linden were not.

There are basically no limitations to the self, and all portions of the self are connected – so the probable selves are aware, unconsciously, of their relationships.

Because no system is closed, there are flows of energy between them, and interaction.  Some of this is exceeding difficult to verbalize, since the word “structure” itself is not only serialized, but particle-ized.

You think of entities as particles, for example, rather than as waves of energy, aware and alert, or as patterns.  Think of Ruburt’s living area in Adventures for example.  Imagine that at age 13, three strong energy centers came to the surface of the personality – highly charged, so that one person cannot adequately fulfill the desires or abilities presented.  You may have a three-way split at age 13.  At [age] 40, each of the three selves may recognize age 13 as a turning point, and wonder what might have happened had they chosen other courses.

None of this is predetermined.  An offshoot probable self might leave your reality at age 13, say, but could intersect with you again at age 30 for a variety of reasons – where to you, you suddenly change a profession, or become aware of a talent you thought you had forgotten, and find yourself developing it with amazing ease.

(To Rob): Your birth (in 1919) coincided with the birth of your mother’s child in that other reality, hence her stronger feelings toward you.  Your birth, and that of your youngest brother (Richard) were highly charged for her – yours for the reasons just given, and your brother’s because it represented the time of your mother’s hysterectomy in that other reality.  In this reality, Richard’s birth represented your father’s final attempt to deal with emotional reality.  Both of your parents imbued the third son with the strongest emotional qualities of their natures.  Your mother had him defiantly, after the usual childbirth age (she was 36) almost reacting against that [probable] hysterectomy.  In this world, she could and would have another child.

Linden was the one “natural” child of this marriage.  Watch how you interpret that, but he was the child least affected by other realities.  For that reason, however, and because of your parent’s personalities here, the same amount of attention was not paid him psychically, and he felt that lack.

I told you (in the last session) that in one probability Ruburt was a nun, expressing mysticism in a highly disciplined context, where it must be watched so that it does not get out of hand.  Because there is an unconscious flow of information and experience here, you have one of the reasons for Ruburt’s caution in some psychic matters, and his fear of leading people astray.  There were three offshoots: one, the nun, with mysticism conventionally expressed, but under guarded circumstances; one, the writer, who veiled mystical experience through art; and one, the Ruburt you know, who experienced mystical experience directly, teaches others to do the same, and forms through writing a wedding of the two aspects.  You have known two of those selves, then, and you were present at Ruburt’s birth with Idea Construction.

The birth of Joseph took place at York Beach with the dancing episode, so you have in your own experience examples in adult life.  I cannot give you everything in one evening, of course.  A few glimpses before a word for Ruburt.  Sportsmen make good money, so for this and other reasons you early turned to commercial art – a field in which artistic ability would be well paid for.

There were other connections, seemingly trivial yet pertinent.  You enjoyed doing comics with outdoor scenes: animals in motion, the body performing.  As an audience watches a sportsman perform, so those who read the comics watched your characters perform in action across the page.  All hidden patterns, yet each one making sense.  I will go into the birth of Joseph.