Session 628

Personal Reality, Session 628

To begin with, Augustus was brought up to believe that the inner self was dangerous, that individuals reacted because of inner conflicts over which they had little conscious control.  He believed that the individual personality was relatively powerless to understand itself and that it stood precariously alone and undefended, with a chasm of evil beneath and with an unattainable, cold, just, but not compassionate “Good” above.

He felt bewildered in a world of opposites.  Conflicting beliefs were uncritically accepted.  The conscious mind will always attempt to make sense out of its beliefs, to form them into patterns and sequences.  It will usually organize ideas in as rational a way as possible, and dispense with those that seem to contradict the overall system of its beliefs.

Augustus had been taught to fear his own thoughts, to avoid self-examination.  Beliefs or ideas that frightened him were not faced, therefore, but initially shoved into corners of the conscious mind, where they lay relatively harmlessly in the beginning.

As time went on the number of unexamined, frightening beliefs began to accumulate.  Ideas and beliefs do feed upon themselves.  There is within them a built-in impetus toward growth, development and fulfillment.  Over the years two opposing systems of beliefs built up strongly, vying for Augustus’s attention.  He believed that he was utterly powerless as an individual, that despite all his efforts he would come to nothing, go unnoticed.  He felt completely unloved.  He did not feel worthy of love.  At the same time he let his conscious mind wander, and to compensate saw himself as all-powerful, contemptuous of his fellow human beings, and able to work greater vengeance upon them for their misunderstandings of him.  In this line of beliefs he was able to do anything – cure mankind’s ills if he chose, or withhold such knowledge from the world to punish it.

Now all of these ideas were quite conscious, but he held each group separately.  The conscious mind, again, tries to obtain overall integrity and unity, lining up its beliefs into some kind of consistent system.  When opposing beliefs that directly contradict each other are held for any length of time, and little attempt is made to reconcile them, then a “battle” begins within the conscious mind itself.

Since it is the beliefs of the conscious mind that regulate the involuntary bodily motions and the entire physical system, then contradictory beliefs obviously set up adverse physical reactions and imbalances.  Before Augustus’s opposing beliefs lined themselves up into separate camps, so to speak, the body was in turmoil; contradictory messages were constantly sent to the muscular system and the heart.  The hormonal system teetered.  Even his physical temperature varied rather drastically.

Because like ideas do attract like, both electromagnetically and emotionally, the conscious mind found itself with two complete contradictory systems of belief, and two self-images.  To protect the integrity of the physical structure, Augustus’s conscious mind neatly divided itself up.  No longer were the minute-to-minute messages to the body scrambled.

The part of Augustus who felt powerful and alien became personified.  When Augustus felt threatened then the conscious mind switched over, accepting as operating procedure the system of beliefs in which Augustus saw himself as all-powerful, secure – but as alien.  This part of his beliefs, therefore, and this particular self-image, took over his conscious mind and became what we will here call Augustus Two.  When Augustus Two assumed leadership then the physical body itself was not only strong and powerful, but capable of physical feats far surpassing those of Augustus One.

Augustus Two, you see, believes that his body is nearly invincible, and following this belief the body does perform much better.  Augustus Two believes that he is an alien.  In this case the rationale – because there must be one – is that he is a being from another planet, in fact from another galaxy.  His purpose in this case is quite clear and simple: He is to help Augustus One, to use his power on the latter’s behalf, rewarding his friends and terrifying his enemies.  Augustus One quite deeply believes he needs this kind of help.

Now this is a split of the conscious mind.  It does not originate within the inner self.  When Augustus Two takes over he is quite conscious.  He simply views physical reality through an undeviating system of beliefs.  The messages sent to the body are not in the least contradictory.  The body is under excellent control.

Augustus One’s moods of course were a direct result of the ideas he was entertaining.  It was this unceasing swing from high states of exaltation and power to low ones of powerlessness and depression that the body could not tolerate, because of the vast alterations entailed.  For the greater periods of time Augustus One predominates, since his ideas of worthlessness, in your terms, were adopted earlier; and worse – are only reinforced by the contrast between him and Augustus Two.  Augustus Two comes on sometimes for as long as a week at a time.

He does all the things and says all the things that Augustus One would dearly love to do and say, with only certain safeguards.  Augustus One, however, is not literally unconscious during this time, but quite aware of the “vicarious” activities and fulfillments.  Again, it is a game of hide-and-seek, in which the so-called unconscious mind is relatively innocent.

Augustus Two can therefore rant and rave, lie and cheat, assert himself, show his contempt for his fellows, and absolve Augustus One of any responsibility.

There is nothing evil in the nature of Augustus Two.  In spiritualistic circles however he would most certainly be interpreted as an evil spirit or guide.

His nature is protective.  The basic ideas and beliefs that have been personified into his being, that became his being, were formed to protect Augustus One from the destructive ideas given to him in his childhood, to combat the beliefs in powerlessness and futility.  To that degree they were added onto the original ideas, but still at an early age; so it was from the child’s concept of a powerful being that Augustus Two sprang.

The greater the feelings of weakness then the greater the compensating feelings of power and strength – but, again, with no attempt at conscious reconciliation.

Augustus’s mother noted only that her son seemed highly changeable.  Augustus two did not present himself as obviously “another personality” until after Augustus’s marriage, when the demands of fatherhood and making a living were placed upon him.  He could not cope.

His beliefs in his unworthiness prevented him from using his abilities, or even pursuing a course of effective action, with any persistence.  It was then that Augustus Two began to assert himself – and to Augustus’s wife.  In his own way Augustus Two would prove to her that she was married to quite an unusual, powerful man, a paragon of virility and strength; but to do so Augustus One must appear as Augustus Two to her.  This continued for some time.  Augustus One would first develop a splitting headache, and then this alien fro outer space would arrive: the commanding male that Augustus One was not.

Here, however, the “deception” brought about certain difficulties.  Not only was Augustus Two more sexually promiscuous, but by contrast Augustus One seemed very pallid indeed.  Augustus Two was originally intended to help Augustus One.  It’s true that the exotic conditions spilled over, casting some glamour on Augustus One when Augustus Two left for a time, but the contrast was too blatant, too out in the open.  Augustus One, still the primary personality, became even more frightened.  He knew that gradually Augustus Two was outliving his purpose, showing him up, and had to go.

In fact, once Augustus Two obviously “took over” the body of Augustus One, it was all out in the open in the family.  The wife began to take notes of what was done and said.  When these events were repeated to Augustus One later, the lying and cheating was evident.  So was the infantile nature of the “personality”; yet Augustus Two purported to be all-wise, from a galaxy far surpassing Earth in every category of endeavor.  And here he was making predictions that never happened, and boasting and lying like a trooper.

The beliefs whose energy generated this “alternate self image” then appeared in the daylight, acting out their natural results in physical reality.  Augustus One, now in manhood, was forced to perceive the nature of these beliefs to some extent, yet when he was here visiting Ruburt he still would not examine them.

Augustus Two has not taken over now for two and one-half months.  Augustus is in a dilemma, for he still holds intact the beliefs in his own powerlessness, and the contradictory beliefs of omnipotence are not now being expressed through Augustus Two.  Yet expressed they will be; and so in the interview Augustus One – who we will now simply call Augustus – at once moment came through with his gigantic belligerence, staring at Ruburt and telling him the he could annihilate anyone who hurt him.  In the next moment the great plea for help would surface, the love of his wife and child.  In one sentence Augustus would make a statement, and ten minutes later make it clear with another remark that the first fact had not been true.

Here the polarity between Augustus One and Two had dissolved, so that the two opposing systems of belief operated alongside each other.  Still Augustus would not examine his own words, his own thoughts, or see the contradictions so obvious to others.

The nature and importance of belief appeared so eloquently that Ruburt was astounded, and found himself forced into some complicated psychological footwork.  The two “personalities” were no longer separate, but merging.

Augustus said, “My friend killed a neighbor of mine who was against me by giving him pneumonia.  He looks out for me.”  Another neighbor has ulcers, and Augustus told Ruburt that after he touched this neighbor the ulcers seemed to have been healed.  So he said, “I would like to know how much of this great ability belongs to me.”  And looking briefly away: “Perhaps I do not need my friend to protect me after all.”  Now this was definitely to the good, in that Augustus was beginning to feel that perhaps he was not powerless.  His own personality, however, is left to handle the definitely unsavory characteristics of an Augustus Two who is no longer personified.

He is left with the questions: “If I am so powerful, how is it that I am so weak, and cannot even support my family?  If I am so great, why cannot I effectively use my energy?”

For the body of Augustus is once again under the sway of beliefs about himself that are highly contradictory.  Before, he was physically powerful when he was Augustus Two, and weak when he was Augustus One.  Now as Augustus he is alternately strong and weak, and the body stresses are apparent.  As Augustus Two he could stay up night and day and perform physical tasks quite difficult for the normal human being to do, for he operated under the indivisible idea of power and strength.

It has taken some courage for him to let Augustus Two vanish.  Because the neat division of beliefs on longer exists, however, he will seem even more difficult to his wife since the characteristics of Augustus Two now “bleed into” his own.  He will lie for example where before only Augustus two lied.

Here then is a case where directly opposing beliefs dominated the conscious mind at various times, each operating the body in its own manner.  Physically the body has the same capacity for strength regardless of which group of ideas were dominant; but practically speaking, Augustus One was incapable of performing the feats of Augustus Two.

Augustus Two once leaped from a second-story window to the ground in anger, and without injury – a highly unusual feat.  Augustus, however, is so exhausted that he can barely get through a normal day.  You had a situation in which an individual, through beliefs, put his power and energy literally beside himself.  He could use it only when he switched beliefs completely.

It was only because the childlike characteristics of Augustus Two finally appeared so blatantly that Augustus Two had to be dispensed with.  Augustus’s wife made the difference, for it was obvious that she did not have the same opinion of this “friend’ that her husband had.  Her beliefs then became the new foundation, the one point of change that allowed Augustus to view this alternate self-image with any kind of detachment at all.